On Confidence, Being Yourself, and the Definition of "Normal"

I was talking with one of my close friends about this recently, and I realized it would be a good thing to write about because I'm sure there are many of you who can relate to what I'm about to say.

Honestly, for me, confidence and self-esteem have been a daily battle for years. Even now as a fully fledged adult, I still struggle with having confidence in my decisions because I care way too much what people think about me. I'm sure many of you can relate. But why is this such a common battle?

Let's take a look at the world we live in today. I think one of the most prevalent characteristics of the world we live in in technology. We have so much information at our fingertips. With the press of a button, we can know all sorts of things! Not to mention the boom of social media. Even 20 years ago, social media really wasn't a thing. But now, we have texting, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, Blogger, and many other popular websites and platforms. In many ways, it's a good thing. For me, I use Facebook to keep up on big things happening in people's lives like starting a new job or college, getting and engaged married, having a baby, going on exotic trips, etc. It also helps me keep in contact with friends and family I don't get to see very often, like my extended family that live all over, my college friends, and people I met on my mission. Without social media, it would be difficult to keep in contact with those important people in my life. In that aspect, social media is a wonderful thing!

But there's also the flip side of the coin when it comes to social media. I've found (and I'm completely guilty of this too) that we tend to publicize an "ideal version" of ourselves. Only the best pictures make it onto our FB and Instagram profiles. Only the best news and life events make it into our posts. While I'm definitely seeing more people who have the courage to post when life isn't going perfectly, and I applaud you for doing so, putting up a "perfect facade" is still a very common pattern I'm seeing. But like I said, I'm completely guilty of this too! When I'm struggling, I have the tendency of shutting people out and trying to deal with my problems myself. I'm definitely trying to get better at that, and I've seen some improvement, but it's still a work in progress! The idea of posting on social media when I'm struggling is a scary notion to me! And I'm definitely not saying that we should publicize everything we're going through, because some things are just too personal, and there are other ways to reach out to people for support.

All I'm saying is that I've also found that people generally respond best to genuineness. When we're truly being ourselves, people respect and admire that. They feel more comfortable around us. When we take the leap and choose to be ourselves, then we give other people the opportunity to let their guard down too. I've really tried to let my guard down through this blog. While I definitely don't share everything in my personal life, I've found a lot of support through this! And it's because I try to be real in my posts.

When I see someone post something real on social media, I can just tell that they're being genuine. We each have the innate intuition within us that can help us discern between when people are being real, or when they're hiding behind a mask. I respond to the FB posts that are touching to me, that make me feel something like excitement, sympathy, or enlightenment.

While these types of things don't often make it onto my wall, I know that there are tons of things circulating out there that communicate unrealistic expectations. An easy example to use is magazine-front-cover models. They may seem like they have "all that," but what kind of lives do they lead? How often do you think they experience true joy? And what kind of messages are they sending? That a woman's worth lies only in her outward appearance? I'm not saying that looks don't matter, because they do, but they aren't the only reason we women are of worth, despite what the Clinique and Victoria's Secret ads may say (and not say). What happened to virtue, to modesty in dress, to the inner "glow" a woman can have when she is assured of herself and her worth?

I think every human being has one desire in common: each of us want to be treated like normal people.

Understanding the Book of Mormon

With the Sunday school Come Follow Me curriculum being about the Book of Mormon this year, I thought I'd write on that a little bit. I feel like the Book of Mormon is the book of scripture that I understand the best out of all four books we have in our scriptures (The King James Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price). I attribute most of my knowledge to my year of early morning seminary my freshman year of high school where we studied the Book of Mormon, though my knowledge has definitely expanded with my college Book of Mormon part I and II classes, and in my own personal studies both on and off my mission.

First and foremost, the Book of Mormon is the record of God's people in the Americas. The book starts out with one family in Jerusalem around 600 BC, but when the father/prophet Lehi received a warning about the imminent destruction of Jerusalem as well as the attempts on his life, he took his family and fled, and they eventually sailed to the American continent under the Lord's direction. From there, over hundreds of years, two peoples grew from that first family, the Nephites (named after the righteous son Nephi) and the Lamanites (named after the rebellious oldest son Laman). These two nations stood in opposition to each other the vast majority of the Book of Mormon. However, hundreds of years before Lehi and his family came, another people called the Jaredites (named after their righteous leader Jared) came to the Americas immediately following the confounding of the languages at the Tower of Babel. By the time the Nephites and the Lamanites came around, the Jaredites were destroyed, and their bones were found by the Nephites hundreds of years later. The Book of Mormon is a story of how our loving Heavenly Father was the God of more than one nation. He wasn't just the God of Israel - He had a branch of Israel in the Americas as well.

But more than that, I believe the Book of Mormon is a story about families. In Lehi's family, there were righteous sons who believed in the Lord and heeded His counsel, and there were sons who had seen angels and had other remarkable experiences, yet their hearts were hardened against Him. Then there were the righteous king Mosiah and the prophet Alma with their initially rebellious sons that have incredible repentance stories and eventually become some of the most powerful missionaries in the Book of Mormon. Then there are the people of Ammon (named after one of the missionary sons of Mosiah who brought them to the gospel) and their 2,000 righteous young sons who covenant to protect their people from the Lamanites. Then Alma the Younger has his 3 sons (two righteous and one rebellious) whom he writes to. Then we see Jared, the righteous leader of the Jaredites with his righteous prophet brother Mahonri lead their people. Finally, we have Mormon, the prophet/historian who compiled all the books together (hence the name the Book of Mormon) who passes the record onto his righteous son Moroni who adds some words, then seals up the record and buries it in the hill Cumorah so that the Lamanites won't find it and destroy it. There are families throughout the Book of Mormon! And each one tells a different story.

Of course, the culminating event in the entire Book of Mormon is the resurrected Savior's ministry among the righteous Nephites in 3rd Nephi chapters 11-27. Throughout Latin and South America, there are legends of a "white man" coming to visit them. Though we don't know exactly where in the Americas He came, in the Book of Mormon, we have an actual account of what the Savior taught and did while He was there. If that doesn't show His love for His people in the Americas, I don't know what does! He actually said to them that there were certain things He wasn't able to teach/show the Israelites that He was able to teach/show to the Nephites because their faith was so great. I just think that's amazing. Like a mother that has equal love for her two sons, Jesus Christ had an immense love for both His people in America and His people in Israel. As the title page says, the purpose of the Book of Mormon is for the "convincing of the Jew and Gentile that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself to all nations" (emphasis added).

I testify that when Mormon compiled the stories of all these families as well as the ministry of Jesus Christ, he was inspired to know which stories we would need in our day. The Book of Mormon was written for our day. It's another written testimony of Jesus Christ. It isn't here to replace the Bible, but to supplement it. The Bible tells the "what" (Christ's law), and the Book of Mormon tells the "how" (how to live the law). Like a father and a mother that are different people yet speak with one voice, the Bible and the Book of Mormon work together to testify of the reality of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and lay out His plan to save all of us through His atoning sacrifice. In every chapter, Christ can be found. Look for Him. Look for what He's trying to tell you specifically. Two people could read the same chapter and pull out completely different things. I testify that reading the Book of Mormon will bring you closer to Christ. If you want to build a better relationship with Him, the Book of Mormon is where you should turn to. The Book of Mormon is a major reason for the relationship I have with Him today.

If you ever have questions about the Book of Mormon, if there's something you don't understand, I'd love to help! Whether you're interested in learning more about it or the Church, or if you've read it many times and just have questions about content, people, or looking for a new way to read it, feel free to post in the comments below on my blog or on my FB post! I'd love to answer questions!