Transitions in Life

I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately. I mean, it makes sense, now that I've graduated from my college studies and am stepping into the next phase of my life, whatever that may be.

I graduated high school 6.5 years ago, which was a major life transition. It marked the beginning of my independent adult life. It meant leaving my beloved hometown, my family, and all familiarity as I embarked on to the small college town of Rexburg, Idaho, to discover what I wanted to do with my life and who I wanted to become. It was definitely scary at first, especially since I was the first in my immediate family to go to BYU-Idaho, and the only person I knew going up there up there was my roommate. But it didn't take me long to fall in love with the college life, deciding for myself what degree to choose, what classes to take and when, what social activities I wanted to be a part of, and more. I grew SO much throughout my time in college.

After a year of school, I made the decision to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which is something I never had the desire to do before. But that decision was completely my own. And yes, that was a scary thing too at first! The idea of going to a completely different continent and country, learning a new language, and sharing a different gospel message in a predominantly Catholic city of 10 million people of varying socioeconomic statuses was certainly intimidating! But, once again, it didn't take long for me to fall in love with life as a missionary, sharing a message of hope and love, and becoming fluent in Spanish miraculously quickly (I felt confident speaking after only 6 months).

The missionary life was absolutely wonderful. It was definitely hard at first, and there were many frustrating days, but it just took some time for me to adjust to my "new normal," if you will. Coming home from my mission was no different. It was difficult at first to adjust to speaking English again (my family can attest to this), although adjusting to carpeted floors and hot showers didn't take very long ;) But getting back on social media was definitely an adjustment too. On my mission, I got used to sharing a Nokia brick phone, not even having texting most of the time, video calling twice a year, and using a computer for just an hour and a half per week to email my family and friends. Going from that to getting back on Facebook, texting again, Messenger, having my own computer and 1st smartphone, etc. definitely took some getting used to! And now look at me, I have my own blog now! :) I'd say my transition from the mission back to normal life was the last life transition I experienced before now.

This life transition from "college independent adult life" to "real independent adult life" is particularly unique. In my opinion, college is definitely independent, but at the same time, everything is so structured. Once you're set in a degree, you know which classes you need to take, and housing is basically provided for you - you just have to choose which place you like best. You're still choosing for yourself, but your options are all laid out for you. I didn't realize that until recently.

This "real independent adult life" that I'm transitioning into is a different kind of independence than college is. I do have options, but I have to go find them. I may be student teaching through BYU-Idaho, and everything there is structured for me, but I still have to find where I'm going to live. And after student teaching, that's when the real independence is going to come. I have to get my teaching license, decide which teaching job to take, where I'm going to be, and all those other things. And that's definitely scary and intimidating! But life from this point on is going to be like this. My life is going to result from my decisions. Decisions truly do determine destiny, to paraphrase Thomas S. Monson.

Though these life transitions have all been scary at first, I know that my Heavenly Father has been there with me every step of the way. I'm never alone, even when I feel like I am, because He is always watching. I know that He knows me better than I know myself, He's aware of what's going on in my life, and He knows what's best for me. He won't ever force me to do anything. I still have my agency, or my freedom to choose. He can only lead and guide, if I will let Him.

This student teaching is a little scary, I'm not gonna lie. I'm going to a completely unfamiliar place, once again not knowing anyone, and I'll be teaching an age group I've never done before. But I know that this is going to be a great experience because of all the past life transitions that have prepared me for this moment. I may be going by myself, but I'm never going to be alone. I'll have colleagues, new friends to find, my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ, and of course my ever-supportive family and friends wherever they may be found. I know I couldn't do this without you all. Thank you for supporting me in everything I do. I'm excited to see where this new adventure takes me, and to see how "real" independent life suits me. I've been preparing for this my entire life, and now it's finally here!

Daily Miracles and Service Opportunities

My Desires to Improve
For the longest time, I've wanted to improve my ability to recognize daily miracles that happen in my life, as well as recognizing opportunities to serve other people. So, it's been 3.5 years since I came home from Peru, right? To those of you who haven't served missions or aren't members of my church or perhaps any church, please don't be turned off by this. I promise there's a point to me bringing up my mission experience. Basically, and any returned missionary can attest to this, when you've dedicated 18 months or 2 years of your life to serving Jesus Christ and bringing people to Him, there's a special feeling that comes with it. Feeling the Holy Ghost much more in your life is the easiest way to describe it. Well, when you come home from your mission, no matter how hard you try, you just can't replicate that feeling you had as a missionary. Believe me, I've been trying for 3.5 years, and I haven't been successful. I feel little "moments" you could say of what I used to feel, but I haven't been able to feel it consistently like I used to.
But I've had a thought recently (probably inspired by the Spirit), that one of the major things that made that "mission feeling" so incredible (at least for me, I can't speak for anyone else) was that the ability to recognize daily miracles came super easily to me as a missionary. I basically saw everything as a miracle, whether it be something small like receiving a free mandarin orange from someone (that happened to me a LOT) or something huge like someone I taught accepting the invitation to be baptized. It was easy to see these miracles and attribute them to the God I worship.
Before I go on, I know there are many of you reading this who either are members of my faith and haven't served missions, or you're not members of my faith or perhaps any faith. To you, I'd like to share a quote by Albert Einstein: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” I find a lot of truth and wisdom in this statement. The choice is ours what kind of lives we want to lead, but you can have different beliefs than me and still believe in miracles if you so choose. You don't even have to be religious to believe in miracles!
Miracles
The real question is, what can be considered a miracle? Some may think of things like walking on water or the most unlikely remission from a terminal illness. Others may think of the heavenly gaze of newborns, the love felt at Christmastime, or shooting stars. For me, I try to see miracles in my daily interactions with friends and loved ones, hot showers (which I HAVE gone without ;), my miraculous ability to roll out of bed even when I'm tired, and making progress on my seemingly endless mountain of homework. And you know what has happened as a result of this practice? I've been able to see miracles every single day of my life, and I've been able to feel a more consistent Spirit similar to the "mission feeling" I referenced earlier. I write miracles down in a note in my phone when I see them, then at the end of the day, I look over them again and copy them into a small notebook I have designated for this purpose. I do this every night. When I first started this in late October, I wrote 2-3 things down. Now I'm up to 8 things a day, and I'm sure I could write much more than that.
One thing I've noticed is that when you start looking for something, you're sure to find it. Then you get better at finding it because you get used to looking for it. For instance, if you look for the faults in people (consciously or subconsciously), you're sure to find them, until that becomes the predominant thing you see in people. Conversely, if you start looking for the good in people, you're sure to find that, then you start to see that more and more. It's the same with miracles. Once you make a habit of looking, recognizing it gets easier and easier.
Service
Same goes for service opportunities! The more you look, the more you find, and the better you get at finding them. It could be something as simple as taking out the trash or listening to/giving advice to a struggling friend. It doesn't have to be huge. That's what I've learned from this. We're ALL struggling with hard things. Service in all its forms is a reminder that we're not alone, and that there are people watching out for us. The beauty of it is that we don't necessarily have to know what a person is struggling with to help them. And yet, the recipient's burdens are still made lighter. Imagine how different this world would be if everyone served one another instead of competing with each other, tearing each other down, and warring with each other. That's a world that I want to see.
We do get a glimpse of that world every December though. Why do people always wish that the Christmas season could last all year round? Because there's a special feeling of hope and love that is completely unique to this time of year. We gather together. We give each other gifts. We forgive debts. We put aside our differences. We bury our hatchets. We sing joyous songs of peace! We put up lights, candles, and trees! We wear bright colors! And we look to the new year with optimism. 
An Invitation and A Challenge
This December, no matter what religion or beliefs you profess, I'd invite you to look for the daily miracles in your life, because I guarantee that they're all around you. I promise that if you do, your heart will be filled with gratitude for all the miracles around you, and you will feel loved. And you'll get better at seeing the little miracles that happen everyday. I'm also challenging you to find ways to serve other people every day. I promise that even if you feel like your own personal burdens are too heavy and difficult to bear, you will make someone else's burdens lighter, as well as your own. Look outward, not inward. I can testify of that from both the giving and the receiving end. Life will become easier, not because the challenges we face on a daily basis get easier, but because we get stronger. Build others up, and build yourself up. Be a light this holiday season and beyond! And make both the world and yourself better in the process. :)

Your Once Upon a Time

Your Once Upon a Time

Recently, I was listening to a song from Disney Channel's original movie Descendants 3, and the message was just so beautiful that I wanted to write about it. It's called "My Once Upon a Time." In the movie, the main character and future queen Mal (who is also the daughter of the famed villain Maleficent) makes a decision that she believes is for the good of the whole kingdom, but later regrets it because it distances her from those she holds dear. In this song, she is deciding what she wants her "once upon a time," or her story, to be. She says:

So when your story comes to light,

Make sure the story that they write goes:

Once upon a time a girl tried harder
Once upon a time she tried again
Once upon a braver choice
She took a risk
She used her voice

And that will be my once upon a time
This time.

She has resolved to take the risk and seek to make things right with those she has wronged, even though it definitely won't be easy. As I was listening to this, I asked myself: "What do I want my 'once upon a time' to be?" There have definitely been times when I've had to try harder, try again, take risks, and use my voice. While most of those weren't easy experiences to go through, they've become crucial moments in my personal journey, and I've come out a better person because of them. And I will continue to have experiences like that as I continue onward in life. We all will.

To quote the song again:

Take once upon a time she fought a dragon
Once upon a time that beast was me.

We live in tumultuous times. We're going to war everyday against unseen adversaries, or "dragons" if you will. But sometimes, the opponent we're fighting is ourselves. There are times when our passionate hearts want something, but our logical heads hold us back, or whatever the case may be. I find that my inner wars often center around experiences I want to have, but similar experiences in the past that have been difficult and painful hold me back. I don't know what most of your internal wars are, but I do know that they are just as real as any external influences we may be fighting against. Though the dragons we fight--both internal and external--are intimidating to confront to say the least, we can conquer them all. We will never face anything we can't overcome. I firmly believe that God reserves the toughest battles for His strongest soldiers, and also that each trial we go through was handpicked and carefully placed in our package of trials. He wants us to succeed! And He wants to help us in our daily battles in any way He possibly can. He knows us perfectly, and He knows what we can handle.

To quote the song one more time:
Step into your greatness before your story ends
So when your story ends, they'll say:

Once upon a time a girl flew higher
Once upon a time she made things right
Once upon a tie that bindsShe changed her heart
To change their minds

We all have greatness in us. As C.S. Lewis once said, we are "gods and goddesses in embryo." We all have the innate capacity to accomplish things in our lives that are nothing short of incredible. If you really think about it, there are incredible things you've already done in your life. A major part of our mortal quest is discovering who we are and what we can do. We each need to discover those "seeds of godliness" in us. Once we do, then we'll fly higher than we ever could have imagined, because our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ are "the wind beneath our wings," to quote another favorite song. They can lift us to new heights if we will align our will with Theirs, until we ultimately reach Their altitude. The world may say that we'll never be good enough, that we aren't (fill in the blank) enough. We can change their minds. But the truth is, it isn't their opinions that matter. For me, the opinions that matter the most are those who love me and have my best interests at heart, such as my family, my Heavenly Father, and my close friends.

So, what are your personal dragons? What battles have you already won? What inner greatness have you already discovered in yourself? Whose opinions matter the most to you? And ultimately, what do you want your "once upon a time" to be? Some of the answers to these questions might surprise you. It is my hope that we'll all become something great, wherever our individual paths may lead us.